A relief

When I first began to masturbate at age 11, one of my favorite pictures was of a beautiful blond boy in a National Geographic magazine from the early 60s (an article entitled "Blue-Eyed Indian.") I wished I could be him, fishing on an Indian dugout in the nude. I never stopped liking boys but at that time and age, sex information of any kind was difficult to get. I didn't understand that it was normal to like other boys and I certainly didn't understand anything about making love with another guy. I really missed out, and spent some years where about the only thing I could think of was jacking off and feeling guilty afterwards. What a difference it would have made to have met someone who could have helped me understand my feelings and show me how to get on! I would have been very willing, if I could have known what to do and who I could do it with.

source: Taken from the letter 'A relief' by Cody from San Francisco; NAMBLA Bulletin Vol. 12 No. 6; July-August 1991